Life through Love and Friendship: Sisters Victoria Marie Forde and Ruth Bockenstette

“If the world takes something from us on the one hand, God will give us something on the other.”

St. Louise de Marillac

By Sebastian Isaacs, Communications intern

As young Sisters, Sisters Ruth Bockenstette (right) and Victoria Marie Forde (left) quickly became close friends and began a tradition of spending their summers camping together.

From camping across the country on their summer breaks to celebrating S. Ruth’s 98th birthday this week with a carrot cake and candles, Sisters Victoria Marie Forde and Ruth Bockenstette have shared a friendship that has accompanied them through every season of vowed life.

Known for the varying ministries each Sister took on, teaching and administering in schools around Ohio and Colorado, and the spontaneous camping trips Sisters Ruth and Victoria Marie enjoyed together, any of their fellow Sisters would be surprised to learn that their friendship began quite simply — with ping-pong.

Although they entered religious life around the same time, they had little opportunity to know one another during the novitiate. Their bands each included about 50 members, and the structured practices of religious formation before the Second Vatican Council left little room for developing close friendships. It wasn’t until the two were missioned to schools in Colorado Springs, Colorado, that Sisters Victoria Marie and Ruth came to know one another by living in the same convent at Divine Redeemer.

In the evenings, the Sisters often played ping-pong in the yard. S. Victoria Marie shared, “We didn’t become friends until playing ping-pong.”

S. Ruth laughed and added, “We didn’t become friends until I started winning all of our games.”

When S. Victoria Marie returned to Cincinnati two years later, their friendship continued to grow. Although they never served together in the same ministry again, they spent summers working odd jobs, camping and exploring the country together.

“Victoria is more the intellectual type, and I’m more practical,” S. Ruth shared, reminiscing on the Sisters’ first summer camping together in the mountains of Colorado Springs where they shared a borrowed 6-by-6 foot tent.

S. Ruth later introduced some of her students at St. Francis Seraph School in Cincinnati to camping during three-day trips to Hueston Woods State Park. S. Victoria Marie often joined her, helping supervise the second graders while S. Ruth shared her love of nature.

Another summer, the Sisters ventured together to Santa Fe, New Mexico, where a social worker friend of S. Victoria Marie worked for the Bureau of Indian Affairs. The Sisters spent their nights camping and their days checking on children within the indigenous population to see that their needs were being met.

S. Victoria Marie remembers the car that the two shared that summer, an old stick-shift that had belonged to three Sisters prior to being entrusted to them. “We had to have a little help in the morning to get the car started, and we always had to bring a case of oil with us,” she laughed.

While teaching second grade at St. Francis Seraph School, S. Ruth Bockenstette (pictured) brought her students to Hueston Woods each summer, often accompanied by S. Victoria Marie Forde.

The Sisters also spent a summer in Basalt, Colorado, teaching confirmation classes at St. Vincent parish. Always connecting back to their Charism to be faithfilled women of the Church, S. Victoria Marie taught adults while S. Ruth taught teenagers and followed them through their confirmations. They remember fondly the relationships they formed in that summer, including lasting friendships with some Trappist monks from Snowmass, a neighboring town.

When S. Victoria Marie taught at the College of Mount St. Joseph from 1973 to 1992, she would travel West to spend a few weeks with S. Ruth between the time that the college and S. Ruth’s grade schools let out for summer.

Most summers, though, the Sisters spent camping alone with only the clothes on their backs. With little more than a sandwich and a water bottle, they hiked into the Grand Canyon to Phantom Ranch. When they realized they didn’t have enough money for water, another camper loaned them $5, which they faithfully repaid the next day. Later, another hiker lent them a flashlight so they could safely make their way back along the trail after dark.

They also braved a bear encounter in Sequoia, watched mountainsides of aspens turn to “solid gold” in the state of Washington, and drank hot chocolate before traveling up the “beautiful mountain of Denali” in Alaska for S. Victoria Marie’s jubilee.

S. Victoria Marie attributes their fondness for traveling to the limited finances these trips took. “We went to national parks, places where you don’t spend much,” she said. “It was a real act of faith to start out, but we were blessed.”

Throughout it all, S. Ruth said that their relationship has been a “roller coaster,” filled with highs and lows just like the mountains and valleys the two Sisters came to know. She continued, “We had good days and low days,” yet stayed together through them all.

Today, their adventures look different. The long drives, mountain trails and borrowed tents have given way to quieter days and a shared ministry of prayer at Mother Margaret Hall. Yet their friendship – formed over ping-pong games, camping trips and a commitment to living Gospel values – continues to deepen.

Celebrating S. Ruth’s 98th birthday together with S. Victoria Marie alongside S. Ruth’s family, the two Sisters continue to witness to the enduring gift of friendship, a friendship that has carried them through decades of ministry, adventure and faith.

Sisters Ruth Bockenstette (right) and Victoria Marie Forde (left) made a pilgrimage to Rome, visiting St. Peter’s Basilica and many other significant Catholic landmarks.

Today, Sisters Ruth Bockenstette (center) and Victoria Marie Forde (right) are retired and living in Mother Margaret Hall, where they continue to enjoy life’s blessings.

On July 1, S. Ruth Bockenstette (middle) celebrated her 98th birthday in Mother Margaret Hall along with S. Victoria Marie Forde (right), who has remained by her side since they were young Sisters.

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